Dear Fisher Price Snugabunny Swing,
Let me profess my undying love for you. We had some good times back in 2011 with child #1. You let me push your buttons and never gave up on me. It was a sad day when she outgrew your snug little bunny cradle. You endured three years in a cold, dark storage unit, holding out hope that we would need you again one day. But when child #2 was on her way, I thought your vintage model wasn’t good enough for me anymore. I left you in the garage, shoved in a corner with boxes of old t-shirts and a stack of Glamour magazines from 2007.
I’m sorry I cheated on you. I was tempted by the Mamaroo. Those 4Moms know all the right things to say to lure you in, and next thing you know, you’re dropping $200 to bring home a swing you just met. The Mamaroo may be smaller than you and have more fancy buttons, but it can’t fulfill my needs. I need a swing that will hypnotize my baby into a deep sleep so that I can have a moment of sanity to myself.
The other day I got nostalgic as I turned on Baby Einstein for child #2. You and child #1 used to rock out to that classical music as she got milk drunk after a feeding. Do you remember Sonata in D? Yeah, that was your jam.
As child #2 screamed, I ran out to the garage in desperation. I looked around and finally spotted you leaning against the wall wrapped in trash bags and zip ties. I’m sorry. That must have been awkward and uncomfortable. I carried you upstairs, unwrapped you and plugged you into the wall. I said a little prayer as I put child #2 into your soft cradle and set you in motion.
And just like that, she stopped screaming. She looked up and saw your little birdies twirling around her head and heard the sounds of nature and finally felt at peace. Who knew she’d love the feeling of being in a rainforest?! You have the ability to put her to sleep and keep on swinging through naps that seem to last an eternity. For that, I will be forever grateful. Because of you, I have finally been able to catch up on laundry, clean out my closet, organize the pantry and take showers on an almost daily basis.
I promise to let you remain in our house until child #2 grows too big for you. Fortunately, she’s pretty tiny, so I see a long future ahead for you and me.
A slightly more organized and clean mommy